Stay Tuned for Sex

Apparently, if you are paying attention, life can just keep getting better and better.

Last week I learned something new about kissing. A little something that blew my mind. I walked out of the bedroom thinking, "How can I have lived to be 56 and not known that?"

I mean, it's not like I am totally oblivious. I've done sensory awakening techniques for the last 38 years, and have a rich sensorium.

If you want to stay with one person year after year and stay in love and not get bored you have to open up your senses, and keep exploring. Then you can get more and more into them and into what bonding is and what delight is.

Three Chakras in the Tongue

What was this new thing? It was a small perception, almost indescribable. What seemed to be happening is that there are three chakras, at least, in the tongue: one way back, one in the middle, and one near the tip. You can feel them with your awareness when you are loving someone, or even thinking of loving someone. If you tenderly attend to these little chakras, they get excited and generate an electricity of joy. A juicy, and very fun, energy that you can share in kissing. Once you've got that going, the electricity itself will teach you what to do, and it was teaching me about a subtle undular rhythm I hadn't noticed before. The results were spectacular.

By the way, I don't know how this would work if you don't have a lover eager to be kissed. I don't know where the energy would go. So follow your own instincts. There might be negative side effects if you don't have a luscious outlet for the energy you unleash – you might start craving chocolate, or something.

Before last week, as far as I remember, I was only really paying attention to the tongue as one unit, one sensory organ. One muscle. Now I realize there's a whole universe there. Waiting to be discovered.

And of course, whenever I discover some new realm of sensing, I find out that many others have known all about it for a long time. Probably next week I will be at a party and meet a wine taster, chef, or lover of life who has been awake to sensing in this realm.

Then I realized that life is always like that. What is here in life, in the body, is so vast and so rich that even if you do everything you can to be perceptive, there is much more and always something new. The stuff out of which we are made shimmers with new awakenings every time we turn around, if we really turn around.

This tender, "giving permission" quality of attention is missing from most people's approach to meditation. There is such a big push to "try to control" the contents of awareness.

The real secret of attention seems to be give permission. Just give the area permission to reveal its mysteries, whatever area of the body you are attending to. Then be there and notice as the secrets of life unfold before your inner eye.

I think that staying tuned for sex is the most challenging thing any of us can do.

Think about it – you have to have done all your chores, done your work, paid your bills, checked off what you can of your to-do list. Otherwise, your mind will wander when you are having sex. As you fall into the vibration of deliciousness, you will become aware of the stuff you have left undone.

Then you have to have healed and released your emotional tension, your fears and hurts and angers, to the extent that you aren't holding anything back. Otherwise you won't be able to really let go.

Then you have to have permeated your body with love, so you are able to give and receive love. Also, you have to be rested, so that you don't just fall asleep in the subtle parts.

Good sex means the full functioning of every aspect of body, mind, heart, and soul – plus the ability for each of these four areas to work in symphony.